Communication Is The Key
Be who you are
You came to the relationship as whole people, with your own identities and a purpose in life. Share your happiness, look forward to everything you’ll do together, make choices and decisions together, feel better about everything when your partner walks in the room, and miss them when they’ve gone – but honour your individuality. Keep your interests and hobbies, maintain friendships with your friends and continue to bring new life to your relationship.
Why I Married You
As you know yourself, know your marriage – why do you love each other, what do you need, what have you learned to give and take in this relationship? People will offer their advice, telling you when to buy a house, or when your should have children, or if you only did “this” then your marriage would be different/better/more like theirs. But remember, they don’t know your marriage like you do. They don’t know your partner like you do.
We love differently
People can love each other equally and show it very differently. A person of words can be married to a person of action, but as long as each person knows that they are loved the best way their partner knows how, then all can be right with the world. Be open, be understanding, be accepting and be loved.
Small amounts of honest communication all the time, even when you can’t be together is far more effective than absent communication all the time – even when you’re in the same room! So talk often, share your ideas and your dreams and the funny thing that happened at work today
Listening is the most underrated and unused tool in communication. Learn to listen as much as you wish to be heard. You might do this now, but life will get noisy. Make a point of switching off and focusing everything on the person talking. Listening is not just making eye contact and waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can have your turn to say something. That’s just hearing – and sometimes it’s not even that!
I once read that if you talk but don’t listen, you are only ever hearing the things you already know, but if you listen, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to learn something new. How romantic to be constantly learning new things about the person you love.
Bring it up
Even if you are sure what is in your loved one’s heart, never think you know what’s in their mind. Don’t let something go just to avoid disagreeing. Give each other a chance to be understanding and allow yourself to be surprised.
When stuff happens that won’t matter in a year from now, do your best to treat it with humour. Humour heals, humour binds, humour relieves everything in the world and makes life easier. It lightens the mood and It also improves your facial expression.
When you do get upset with each other, start conversations with these words: “I’m having trouble with something, but I think you can help.” It’s amazing how responsive people can be when they are invited to help you, rather than defend themselves.
The most important thing, what will help you live within the hearts of each other, as well as in the same house, is this:
If it’s happy, if it’s loving, if you mean it…
You make me happy.
I appreciate you.
I love you.
I’m glad I married you.
I would do it all again!
And that’s when you contact me again to renew your vows……. in fact, why wait 30 years?